MANHOOD REDO: Consider this part two of the previous blog since I mentioned at the end of it writing about music and dance. When I was in ninth grade and my sister in eighth, she would dance a little while doing the dishes if music was on, and I remember thinking no way I'm doing that. Unless I could look cool dancing, there was no point in attempting it, especially since the opposite seemed likely - looking like an idiot. But a friend of my sister's yanked on my arm and refused to let go during my junior year when I was standing around in the garage of someone in my class, a jukebox blaring and some people moving to the music. When it became clear that she had no intention of giving up, I decided to try since I knew the issue wouldn't go away anytime soon. So the first song I ever danced to was Grand Funk's "We're an American Band."
And I did okay, at least according to her, and I sort of felt that way too. So I kept dancing. In fact, she unleashed a dancing fool. I've never been one to more formally pursue dancing, learning particular steps - it's always seemed like too much work - but put me out on a dance floor and give me some funk, soul, rock 'n' roll, and I'll take off. By the time the junior/senior banquet rolled around the year after my first steps in the garage, I danced the entire time music blasted out of the deejay's speakers, about two hours, and not with my date, because I didn't take one. I danced mostly with a friend's date.
Now, I've had to learn to dance more with my arms and shoulders and hips since my knees can't take the moves I used to do when I was younger. And I don't worry too much about looking cool. In fact, I sometimes intentionally put on silly moves, following in the footsteps of one of my favorite dance scenes: Kevin Kline's character in "I Love You to Death." I figure if he can look ridiculous, so can I. If traditional masculinity is all about "cool" as it relates to image, performance, and control, then letting music move you in whatever way feels fun and enjoyable is a way to break the stifling hold "cool" has over us.
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Hey Pat, I'm catching up on the blog. I can relate to your assessment. The only way I can dance is to accept that I'm a white guy and I'm gonna look funny... but once I let go of my pride, I learned to have a great time dancing. It's a good workout with friends.
I've also always thought that there's a good analogy between dancing and world peace, everyone moving in harmony yet in their own space.
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